How to Release Meaningless and Underlying Anger
Are you angry?
Here’s a better question: Are you happy, until without warning, a small occurrence causes you to become bitter and lash-out for what seems like no reason? Maybe this reaction has a negative effect on the people around you. Or worse, maybe this reaction has a negative effect on the way you view yourself.
Why do you think these reactions happen?
It is likely because “something” is bothering you, and it will continue to bother you until you find out concisely what the cause is.
So how do we address this “something”?
Well below is an exercise that helps me do just that. To complete it yourself just click the hyperlink (a new tab will open with a printable PDF of my exercise). Or simply grab a pen and paper to copy what is written on my PDF. I’ll wait here until you are ready. (note: you can not do this exercise on your phone or on your computer).
Ok, you ready?
Now write down the following commitment at the top of the page.
My Committment: “Today I am going to release the meaningless anger I am holding on to. I am going to write down every situation that is currently making me angry, regardless of whether I have control over the situation. I recognize this anger does not serve me. Today I leave my anger on this paper because I do not deserve to be weighed down by it. My relationships do not deserve to be affected by my anger. I am going to release myself from my anger today.”
Don’t over think what comes next. Just write down the angering situations that come to your mind. Remember, we are writing down angering situations that do not serve us. These are situations that you have zero control over or situations where you are enacting some type of control but you cannot do anything more to change the outcome.
Now here’s the best part: reflect on each item to determine
(1) whether you can take action,
(2) whether there is a deeper / root cause to your anger, and
(3) whether you have any type of control over the situation.
These instructions are in my PDF.
Now that everything is written down, reflect on your action items. Are they going to change the outcome of the situation? If so, take them. If not, forget about them; sometimes there is nothing you can do. Now focus on any deeper meaning causing your anger. If a deeper meaning exists, think about how you can address it.
Give all of this some good thought. We are trying to dig deep inside ourselves here.
If necessary, discuss what you’ve written with somebody who is being affected by your anger.
Once all is said and done, pick up the piece of paper, look at it, hold it tightly, and recognize that you just transferred all your meaningless negative anger onto the paper.
Now, rip the paper in half. Pause.
Then rip it again, and again, and again until you can’t rip it anymore. Pause. Then take those pieces of paper and throw them in the garbage where they belong.
Leave it there. Leave your paper and leave your anger. They are gone. And you should feel lighter.
Maybe you just realized you aren’t angry, but fearful (as I did). Maybe you fixed a troubled relationship. Maybe that relationship was with yourself.
Keep in mind you might have to complete this exercise more than once. The moment you complete it with all your soul is the moment you will feel so much relief.
I hope this helps.
As always, Happy Monday 🙂
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